Men get screwed on Valentine’s Day

I hope this doesn’t come across as defensive or grumpy (God forbid), but isn’t there something wrong with Valentine’s Day? [Husband Alert! It’s Friday, guys.]

Valentine’s Day is named after Valentin, a priest who was executed by the Romans in about 270 A.D. He was the patron saint of lovers. 

Note, plural. Meaning men and women, plural.

PC Police Alert! Being as this is the 21st Century, we must acknowledge that “men” and “women” are no longer enough. There are as many genders as centipedes have legs, we are told. 

People can select their hair color, their political party, and even their personal pronouns, we are told. I am wondering if a person selects “they/them” as their personal pronoun, are they counted twice by the Census and, specifically, do they exchange Valentine’s presents with themselves?

And “presents” is the focus of this essay.

We have agreed, I think, that Valentine’s Day (like Virginia) is for lovers, plural. That suggests lovers exchange gifts — men buy things for women and vice versa.

And that’s where I am wrong, I am told.

Men take women out for an overpriced St. Valentine’s Day dinner at an overcrowded restaurant, and men also are expected to come across with chocolates and/or flowers (at a minimum) perhaps buttressed by jewelry, perfume, lingerie  or some pricy trinket.

Men get a card, maybe a peck on the cheek, and maybe something more at bedtime. But a gift? No.

Some magazine I never heard of even had a story saying guys don’t want anything (other than quality time) with one guy saying we shouldn’t expect anything, equating Valentine’s Day to Mother’s Day. Really? Then what is Father’s Day? 

I can get personal here, for a minute.

I don’t want a gift. I pretty much have everything I need, so I can count on my girlfriend coming up with some food treat and some “quality time” (which is what I call s-e-x, but I can’t say more about that here). 

Like Valentine’s Day, sex is better when it’s plural.