Men get screwed on Valentine’s Day

I hope this doesn’t come across as defensive or grumpy (God forbid), but isn’t there something wrong with Valentine’s Day? [Husband Alert! It’s Friday, guys.]

Valentine’s Day is named after Valentin, a priest who was executed by the Romans in about 270 A.D. He was the patron saint of lovers. 

Note, plural. Meaning men and women, plural.

PC Police Alert! Being as this is the 21st Century, we must acknowledge that “men” and “women” are no longer enough. There are as many genders as centipedes have legs, we are told. 

People can select their hair color, their political party, and even their personal pronouns, we are told. I am wondering if a person selects “they/them” as their personal pronoun, are they counted twice by the Census and, specifically, do they exchange Valentine’s presents with themselves?

And “presents” is the focus of this essay.

We have agreed, I think, that Valentine’s Day (like Virginia) is for lovers, plural. That suggests lovers exchange gifts — men buy things for women and vice versa.

And that’s where I am wrong, I am told.

Men take women out for an overpriced St. Valentine’s Day dinner at an overcrowded restaurant, and men also are expected to come across with chocolates and/or flowers (at a minimum) perhaps buttressed by jewelry, perfume, lingerie  or some pricy trinket.

Men get a card, maybe a peck on the cheek, and maybe something more at bedtime. But a gift? No.

Some magazine I never heard of even had a story saying guys don’t want anything (other than quality time) with one guy saying we shouldn’t expect anything, equating Valentine’s Day to Mother’s Day. Really? Then what is Father’s Day? 

I can get personal here, for a minute.

I don’t want a gift. I pretty much have everything I need, so I can count on my girlfriend coming up with some food treat and some “quality time” (which is what I call s-e-x, but I can’t say more about that here). 

Like Valentine’s Day, sex is better when it’s plural. 

11 thoughts on “Men get screwed on Valentine’s Day”

  1. The perfect Valentine’s Day greeting: ‘TAKE MY LOVE AND STICK IT UP YOUR HEART’

  2. After a not so good day yesterday, but with quality sleep last night and feeling fresh this morning, I want to thank you Stu for bringing me a big smile and chuckle with my coffee…. Funny!!

    On a more serious side, the question about “They/them and census counting? You just never know…..

    Good luck tonight!

    yo pallie,
    you got it half right again. Being the youngest of five, I kinda watched and learn some times. There definitely is an advantage to being the youngest. I watched my brothers and sisters go through life, while I was living mine. The lesson for today is quite simple to say, but hard for us males to accomplish. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BETTER HALF ! The woman in your life wants to be noticed and appreciated. She’s more than …………………I often heard,”he makes me laugh” or,”he listens”. Guys, if you can learn these little ( BIG ! ) lessons, the bedroom will be much more than sleeping quarters.

    1. Stu,
      Tony’s right. Take it from another “Youngest of five.” But, he had an advantage. He’s Italian!

  4. “I had three children — one of each.” — Dean Martin
    “I’ve been happily married 28 years; 28 out of 37 ain’t bad.” — Alan King

        1. You’ve got the right idea, Anthony – but more likely sent it with some people from the Armed Forces.

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