The Philly Palm (R.I.P.)

When an institution dies, notice must be taken. The Palm closed suddenly Monday, the result of infighting among the clan that owned it, more than three decades after it opened here in 1989. This will be my last word.

My first words, published in the Daily News on Nov. 2, 1989, under the headline, “Swaying Under the Palm,” complete with my trademark boldface, were these:

“As I’ve said before, sometimes my life is a living hell. 

Take the Palm Restaurant. Please. 

“The chain of ritzy eateries will open a Philly outlet this month in the Hotel Atop the Bellevue in the space of the former Versailles. 

“Everybody needs a gimmick, and the Palm – with restaurants in New York, Washington, Chicago, Miami, Dallas, Los Angeles and San Francisco – has a couple. 

“One is the decor – hanging plants, brass pipes, revolving fans, tin ceilings, dark wood booths – but with two special touches: sawdust on the floor, and sketches of celebrities on the walls. 

“I found out about the celebrity sketches by accident – a Bellevue PR person called to ask me to send in a photo so artist Bill Lignante (who’s done courtroom sketches for ABC, hmmm) could sketch me for the wall. 

“Naturally, I was flattered. 

“Ever curious, I asked the PR person who my celebrity wallmates might be. 

“She wanted to get back to me about that. 

“She didn’t.

“I called back and was told they’re not sure they want to release that information because the people who are not included might feel slighted. 

“I subtly point out it’s not going to be much of a secret once the restaurant opens. Besides, I didn’t want all the names, just a representative few. 

“Call the Palm‘s Washington’s headquarters, I was told. Maybe they’ll become Stu’s Spies. 

“In all modesty, I must point out that a lot of Philly restaurants – I don’t know why – would kill to get a mention here. (It’s rumored that Old Original Bookbinder’s has a guy on the payroll whose sole mission in life is to get the restaurant’s name in here. Again, I can’t explain it.)

“You know me. I don’t just sit around waiting for the phone to ring. While I was out in L.A. last month, I visited the Palm there to get a taste of the food (good), the prices (semi-high) and the surroundings. 

“This is the kind of investigative reporting I like. 

“I sat under sketches of singer Bobby Vinton, cartoonist Mell Lazarus, former athlete and celebrity wife-beater O.J. Simpson and TV dick Mike Connors, and near the mammoth grouping of the “Hill Street Blues” cast, which is one of the first things you see when entering the restaurant. 

“At Philly’s Palm, one of the first things you will see (I snuck in there yesterday) is a grouping of the Rubin clan – Ronald, Richard, George and Bill. 

“Who? (They developed the Bellevue project, silly. )

“More recognizable names already in place include David Brenner, placed near George and Barbara Bush; Steve Bell and Beverly Williams, placed near Farrah Fawcett and Bob Hope; Sylvester Stallone, placed near Thacher Longstreth and Riccardo Muti; Wilson Goode and Ed Rendell, placed near Cheryl Ladd and Hal Sorgenti. 

“Not one Philly sports star is in place, but Dr. J, Mike Schmidt and Randall Cunningham are on order.”

Here is a little more detail: I said I sneaked in. Not precisely true. I put on a suit, grabbed a clipboard and I walked into the Palm, then under construction, as if I owned it. If challenged, I was prepared to mumble something about L&I, but that didn’t happen.

Once my face was on the wall, I selected a booth – Number 17 – with a view of the room. Most VIPs like to sit in the middle of the room, where they could be seen. I preferred the perimeter, where I could see who was there with whom.

My portrait was very flattering and placed next to Robert De Niro (that poseur.)

After the renovation, when the Palm reopened, my needs were different, so Table 50 became “mine.” Former GM Jeff Phillips, who had risen to a Palm v.p., saw to it that many wall celebrities, including me, got portraits from the old Palm as keepsakes. A very gracious touch.

For the past several years, a friend and I have been regulars for the Friday Happy Hour. We will find a new hang, at a secret location, but it won’t be the same.

Thanks for the memories, Palm.