Social Security goes for woke, falls short

Hallelujah, Social Security is going woke.

Kilolo Kijakazi, Acting Commissioner of our ever-vigilant Social Security Administration, announced people now have the choice to self-select their sex on their Social Security number (SSN) record. No bureaucratic involvement. 

“The Social Security Administration’s Equity Action Plan includes a commitment to decrease administrative burdens and ensure people who identify as gender diverse or transgender have options in the Social Security Number card application process,” said Acting Commissioner Kijakazi. “This new policy allows people to self-select their sex in our records without needing to provide documentation of their sex designation.”

No documentation. What a relief! 

SSA says, “People who update their sex marker in our records will need to apply for a replacement SSN card. They will still need to show a current document to prove their identity, but they will no longer need to provide medical or legal documentation of their sex designation now that the policy change is in place.”

Proof of your gender? Naw. Your word is good enough for us.

But — there’s always a but — you will have to choose a self-identified sex designation of either male or female.

What? 

SSA is going full binary, those goddamn bigots! No trans? No bi? No tri? No “a dash of this and a smidgen of that”? 

Here comes the alibi: “Currently, our record systems are unable to include a non-binary or unspecified sex designation. We are exploring possible future policy and systems updates to support an “X” sex designation for the SSN card application process.”

X? Like in LatinX?

X to cover the full range gender blending options? Facebook offers 58 gender options, such as genderqueer, neutrois, cis male, androgynous, and schmucked. (I made up the last one.)

I was outraged, as you would be, writing in comments that I identify as a pussy cat a/k/a furry, and would not stand for having my rights trampled by the sexphobic federal establishment.

Even though I checked “I am not a robot,” my comment to SSA was not accepted. Censors!

I may go back and designate my sex as female because they live longer. Hell, I’ve already done that on Tinder.