Putting Thanksgiving in perspective

Thanksgiving is Americans favorite holiday.

That’s according to a survey I just made up, but I think it’s true.

Despite the thanks-to-God aspect of it, it is nondenominational, with each of us free to thank our own God, and atheists to mock belevers in “the bearded white man in the sky” because they have no Golden Rule.

You know — do unto others.

At first thought, I would say Christmas is Numero Uno — who doesn’t like Christmas?

Well, many followers of other religions, who see Jesus as a prophet, maybe, but certainly not as the son of God.

Personally, I feel Christmas is an American holiday, because it is a federally-recognized day off from work. Even as a Jew, I appreciated the holiday spirit, and, of course, the exchange of gifts.

Personally, again, growing up, Thanksgiving was not a big deal. 

I preferred Hanukkah (back when it was spelled Chanukah) and Passover.

As you probably know, Hanukkah is not the “Jewish Christmas.” It got to be called that because it often falls near Christmas (it is a floating holiday because it is marked on the Jewish calendar, different from our Gregorian calendar), and also involves gifts for the kids. 

Passover in yiddish is a gantseh megilleh, meaning a big deal. 

The family gathers around the dinner table, called a seder, and usually the patriarch reads the Haggadah, which is the story of the Jews exodus from bondage in Egypt. 

Jews have been engaging in this annual celebration of freedom since before the birth of Jesus. You don’t have to believe in the literal truth of every line in the story to appreciate the historical lineage that when you sit at the seder table you are engaging in the same ritual performed by your ancestors for hundreds of generations.

The same is true for Christians celebrating Jesus’ birth.

On the other hand, Thanksgiving is a junior leaguer, only a few hundred years old, and celebrated officially only in a handful of countries. 

Yet, in the States, it is a biggie.

It is centered around the 2 Fs — Food, and Family. Mostly the latter.

Food you can get anywhere, and it is no accident that national travel burdens are heaviest around Thanksgiving, even more so than Christmas, according to a survey I did not make up.

Before World War II, by and large, almost all Americans spent their entire lives about 20 miles from where they were born. 

In the post-war boom, suburbs were invented, and America became mobile thanks to the automobile. People were no longer anchored to the very tree under which they were born.

Even while that is true, only 20% of Americans live more than two hours by car from Mom. That’s more than 66 million Americans.

And a lot of them head home for Thanksgiving.

And when they get there, in additional to turkey, or ham, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie, they will find — family.

(There’s a third F — football, but I am passing on that.)

As I grow older, family becomes more important to me.

Through my entire life, I always had demanding, time-consuming jobs, which I loved. And I prioritized profession over personal, work over family. I laughed at the observation that no one on his deathbed regretted not spending more time at the office.

I’m not laughing so much any more, now that I am in what some call the golden years. I have outlived my life expectancy and I’m careful not to walk toward bright white lights.

I have never been closer to my wonderful sister, now the family’s matriarch, and a better person than I could ever hope to be.

In saluting the Royal Air Force during the Battle for Britain, Winston Churchill said “never was so much owed by so many to so few.” I feel, speaking for the family, the same about my sister. She has done so much for so many, it can’t be detailed here. We all know.

This Thanksgiving, it will be a smaller gathering, at my sister-in-law’s home, with my wife, son- and daughter-in-law and my best friend. I give thanks for all of them, and also for my son, daughter, and granddaughters, who can’t be with us this year.

But then, as right now, I will be thinking of those not present, including those no longer living. The generations past, I had mentioned.

I will feel their presence, and be thankful for it.