Millennials would slay ‘Secret Santa’

Let’s start here: I am no fan of segmenting — or segregating — people by generational cohort, meaning slicing and dicing into Baby Boomers, Millennials, Generation X, Y, Z or whatever academics dream up next.

I don’t want to go all Uncle Sam on you, but weren’t we better off when we identified as Americans, rather than some sub group? How many ways can we be divided before we lose a sense of cohesion and national identity?

Academics find use in assigning titles to groups of people who: were born during a specific time frame. They supposedly have similar characteristics and behaviors and are quantitatively  different from the other generations.

There is some truth to this, I guess, but not a lot. 

More of your beliefs are formed by parents and geography and economics rather than a birth year.

But maybe I am wrong. A recent study has found Millennials don’t like “Secret Santa” practices in offices because they find it “stressful” and anxiety producing.

It is too easy to ridicule Millennials, and many have. But let’s be fair: Are they listless couch surfers living in their mother’s basement? Or are they the hustlers working three gig jobs to make ends meet while they work on the next killer app that will billionaire them?

The eggheads anointed mine the Silent Generation. How well does that fit me? Riiiight.

OK, the British job-hunting website, Jobsite, has found Millennials want a safe space when they are exposed to a “Secret Santa.”

What a bunch of wimps, you may be thinking. But wait.

Offices like “Secret Santas” because they are inclusive — everyone gets something — and the costs theoretically are controlled by having a ceiling on what staffers can spend (although there are always showoffs who break the limit, sometimes causing bad feelings.) But it would not be Christmas without some bad feelings, right? 

And because we live in a hypersensitive era, “Secret Santa” is sometimes deChristianized by making it a “Holiday Pollyanna.” (We won’t talk about which holiday it is, but we all know, right?)

Millennials dislike “Secret Santas” because almost three-quarters of workers between 23-38 say it costs them more than they can afford.

Well, that’s not good.

There are more than a dozen office celebrations — such as birthdays, engagements, retirements and “Secret Santas” — during the year. That costs employees about $100 a year, Jobsite estimates.

About one-quarter (aged 23-38) said they were angry at the organizer for not considering their financial situation. About 17% reported allegations of stinginess relating to their contribution. This results in a sense of shame within the workplace. (I guess what you give is not that “secret.”)

One more thing to worry about.

As a result, one in five workers would like the celebrations banned, with a dsproportionate one-third of Millennials against them.

About one-quarter of Millennials would like to see the company provide presents.

Free stuff. Who don’t like that?