I do not personally know anyone who died in America’s wars.
My uncles all returned from World War II. My father was 4F.
My friends all returned from Vietnam. I was a young father and exempt. To this day I struggle with whether I missed something worthwhile by not serving in the military.
Most of my friends say no, but a few disagree — strongly.
But Memorial Day doesn’t honor service — it commemorates those who did not return, those who in Lincoln’s words “gave the last full measure of devotion.”
I have visited a number of military cemeteries, but two stand out: Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia, the final resting place of more than 400,000 Americans, and Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial in France, where 9,388 Americans rest, most lost on June 6, 1944, and the weeks immediately after the invasion.
When I visited the excruciatingly beautiful and sad Normandy cemetery, I felt I needed to personalize it for me. I walked up and down the rows of identical tombstones, all angled west to face America, whose soil they would never again feel. Each tree’s leaves were shaped into a crisp triangle, with the pointy top cut off flat, to represent the unfulfilled lives of those resting there.
Some smart people made some amazing, caring, heartful decisions.
I walked the rows of tombstones and found the grave of a Pennsylvanian: Pfc. Eake De Marco, 16th Infantry, 1st Division, died on D-Day.
Standing at his cross, I thanked him for what he did for me. His sacrifice paid for my freedom. His was a life unlived, as is true for almost all buried in the soil above Omaha beach.
When I had told people I would be visiting the Normandy cemetery, many asked whether I knew anyone buried there.
I now know Pfc. Eake De Marco.
A quick Google search told me that Pfc. De Marco, 22, from Reading, had been awarded a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart. I didn’t explore further because he was not central to my story, published in the Inquirer on May 31, 2019.
After that story ran, I was contacted by Ed Mikus, an amateur military historian, and I learned a lot more about Eake De Marco.
Mikus found family members who we visited, and I learned they also had visited his grave in Normandy.
Pfc. Eake De Marco is not forgotten.
No service member should be.
Take a minute on Memorial Day to thank those who made the ultimiate sacrifice so that we can live in peace and freedom.
Moving words, Stu. Thank you on behalf of those who gave their lives, their families and friends, and those of us who served.
I salute you as one of my veteran friends.
Thank you Stu,I having served, I think of my Father who went to war and my Father in Law in Battle, both who returned home safely. My turn to fight in a war never came, but my heart goes out to the families and friends of those who are the true heros. I still not help to get emotional to the sounding of Taps. God Bless them All.
I feel as everyone who swrved, served ME, personally.
Beautiful piece of writing, Stu.
Thanks, Lisa.
I remember you writing about PFC De Marco previously. It’s a fine thing you have done, Stu. My GG Grandfather came back from the Civil War, but was almost completely blind in one eye. My son’s research found it took him years to get a four dollar a month pension. He now has a marker on his grave at Old Cathedral Cemetery, 48th & Lancaster. He died in 1906, one year before my mom was born. (Thanks to Tony Clark who got me started with all this). My father’s nephew, who was a pilot, died stateside in a training exercise in 1943, the year I was born. I learned this from a poem my Dad wrote. Many of my fireman friends were Vietnam Vets, but I never knew until our retirement breakfasts. One fireman, who I haven’t seen in years, was what they called a boonierat. He’s skinny and perfect for those jungle tunnels. Below I typed the lyrics to a Johnny Cash song called:
DRIVE ON.
I got a friend named Whiskey Sam
He was my boonierat buddy for a year in Nam
He said is my country just a little off track
Took ’em twenty-five years to welcome me back
But, it’s better than not coming back at all
Many a good man
I saw fall And even now,
every time I dream I hear the men
and the monkeys in the jungle scream
Drive on, don’t mean nothin’
My children love me , but they don’t understand
And I got a woman who knows her man
Drive on, don’t mean nothin’, drive on
I remember one night,
Tex and me Rappelled in on a hot L.Z.
We had our 16’s on rock and roll
But, with all that fire,
was scared and cold
We were crazy, we were wild
And I have seen the tiger smile
I spit in a bamboo viper’s face
And I’d be dead , but by God’s grace
Drive on, don’t mean nothin’
My children love me, but they don’t understand
And I got a woman who knows her man
Drive on, don’t mean nothin’, drive on
It was a real slow walk in a real sad rain
And nobody tried to be John Wayne
I came home, but Tex did not
And I can’t talk about the hit he got
I got a little limp now when
I walk Got a little tremolo when
I talk But my letter read from Whiskey Sam
You’re a walkin’ talkin’ miracle from Vietnam
Drive on, don’t mean nothin’
My children love me, but they don’t understand
And I got a woman who knows her man
Drive on, don’t mean nothin’, drive on
Thanks for sharing this.
Welcome Home. Peace brother.
Stu, A wonderful way to remember our Veterans is to attend the return from Washington D.C. of the Philadelphia Honor Flight at Saints Simon and Jude I West Chester on Saturday, June 15th at 4:30 PM. Honor Flight takes Veterans to Washington to visit Arlington National Cemetary and the various Military Memorials in Washington at NO COST and entertains them when they return. The crowds to welcome them home waving American flags and cheering will bring smiles to your face and tears to your eyes. Your readers can learn more by Googling HONOR FLIGHT PHILDELPHIA.
Frank Brodsky
Korea War Veteran
Stu, A wonderful way to remember our Veterans is to attend the return from Washington D.C. of the Philadelphia Honor Flight at Saints Simon and Jude I West Chester on Saturday, June 15th at 4:30 PM. Honor Flight takes Veterans to Washington to visit Arlington National Cemetary and the various Military Memorials in Washington at NO COST and entertains them when they return. The crowds to welcome them home waving American flags and cheering will bring smiles to your face and tears to your eyes. Your readers can learn more by Googling HONOR FLIGHT PHILDELPHIA.
Frank Brodsky
Korea War Veteran
Thank you, Stu.
My dad was captured at the Bulge, sat out the rest of the war in a variety of stalags, and came home safe but not quite sound. What he saw and what he went through in prison camp changed him and turned him inward. I never really knew my dad because he was all tied up in knots. We honor our dead this Memorial Day; and we should also thank those who came home maimed in body or mind.
Thanks Stu, Donna and I went to Normandy in 2006. I was not prepared for how I would feel. It took me a half hour to step onto the beach. I didn’t feel worthy knowing how many men were killed there. The cemetery was absolutely gorgeous. What a beautiful place it was to visit. The number of crosses were staggering but the grounds were so well cared for. Around the area close to the beach you could see where the artillery hit. Huge holes remained intact but large amounts of grass were in the holes. Although sad to see, I felt that France honored our soldiers. I tell everyone I know that they must go there to see it for themselves. Thank you for your post!