In the preface to tonight’s episode, I assume the identity of “Mighty Mick” Goldmill, Rocky Balboa’s trainer, who trains Vermont Sen. Bernie (Socialist Socker) Sanders during tonight’s debate with former vice president Joe (Pride of Scranton) Biden.
“OK, Socker, here’s what you gotta do — the body. Work on his body. Work the body, work the body.
“Hit him hard and often so he drops his mitts and that’s when you rip him with a left cross and then an uppercut.
“Listen to me, kid. It’s the 8th round. You won the first two, but he’s won everything since. You are losing on the judges’ cards. The only way you can win is with a knockout. I want you to go out there, work his body and then tear his head off, ya hear me?”
Before putting in his mouthpiece, Sanders says, “But that wouldn’t be nice.”
Mighty Mick throws his towel into the spit bucket.
“Kid, do you wanna win this thing or not?”
Sanders wants to win, but not at any cost. Rather than go for the jugular, he opted for a tow truck to pull Biden to the left.
To win, all Biden had to do was not crack under the pressure, not spout gaffes, and not produce gibberish by starting a sentence here and ending up in Ecuador. If he could avoid crapping himself, he would undercut the current narrative that he is in early stage dementia, and drools on his flight jacket.
His performance won’t silence his partisan critics, but it should lower the volume. (It was Sanders who gaffed, three times mentioning ebola when he meant coronavirus.)
About a week ago, there was a controversial blip that seemed to say that Biden or the DNC asked for chairs and desks instead of lecterns, suggesting that Biden couldn’t stand for two hours during a debate.
He did, and smiled through most of it, while Sanders grimaced, although didn’t shout as much as usual. There was no audience and I didn’t miss it at all.
Under the premise I suggested, by surviving without meltdown, Biden won.
But in other respects, Sanders, who attacked Biden’s record, won.
They both agreed that every American who gets hurt by the coronavirus economic disaster should be made whole, because, in Biden’s words, “this is a war.”
Both claimed to be saviours of working families, never used the word “illegal” when talking about undocumented people, supported DACA.
Speaking of that, here’s the news: Biden would freeze deportations, and reversed his position on Sanctuary Cities, joining Sanders in supporting them. That means the Democratic Party platform will support them. Despite Sanders denial, that means Democrats support Open Borders because when you refuse to expel those crossing the border illegally — not talking about asylum seekers — that is Open Borders.
In other news, Biden pledged to appoint a black woman to the U.S. Supreme Court, and will select a woman to be his vice president. Not even Sanders made the promise of a woman veep, saying “in all likelihood” he would.
Biden also renounced all drilling for fossil fuel. Sanders said he didn’t go far enough. (Put fossil fuel states in the Republican column.)
Sanders beat up on Donald Trump more often than he did Biden, and repeatedly beat the drums for his Medicare For All plan, saying the coronavirus crisis exposed the failure of the U.S. health care system.
Biden was waiting for that one.
Italy has a single-payer system and their suffering is immense, he said. Sanders did not have a response.
At the start of the debate, they did not shake hands, they did the chicken wing elbow bump.
The Big Moment Sanders had prepared was the socialistic “Why” sequence. Why don’t American have free health care? Why haven’t real wages gone up in decades? Why does the political system favor millionaires?
He didn’t challenge Biden directly to answer, and Biden didn’t.
Biden proved he wasn’t an empty suit, Sanders succeeded by pulling Biden to the left.
My fear is that this success for Sanders will result in Biden’s loss to Donald Trump.