Is it asking too much to READ the damn card?

Always read the small print.

As I took it out of its envelope, this is how the Christmas card looked — all lush colors and ingratiating words.

It kind of made me feel all gooey and appreciated, a great feeling for Christmas morning.

Then I opened and read the message inside. More ingratiating, flattering words — and then I get to the final printed line (note word circled in red).

It’s a keeper and I laughed my ass off. I didn’t know she knew I was transitioning. 😃

Half-Pint admits she wasn’t wearing her glasses and couldn’t see the small type. She penned some personal comments to me that I cut off, because they are personal and I have never handled praise all that well.

One reason I laughed: It brought back a memory when Your Favorite Columnist, then just a callow teenager, bought a Mother’s Day card for his my mother. As you may know from a recent column, I am one of those rare card-buying males.

Confession: Most cards are mushy and trite, especially then, 50 years ago, and I rarely read them all the way through.

Which is why on this occasion, Mom (rest in peace) opened the card, read it, and said, “Well, I certainly hope so.”

Huh?

She showed me the card, with its signature line: “You’ve been like a mother to me,” clearly intended for someone who filled that role, but was not Mom.

In any event, it’s the thoughtless that counts, am I right?