Here come the Democrats

Here’s something that goes around periodically — a satire of the Democratic national convention schedule. I’d be happy to publish a Republican schedule if someone sends it to me. I have looked and can’t find one.

The 2020 DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION SCHEDULE

DAY ONE: Monday August 17, 2020

1:30 P.M.

Free lunch, free medical marijuana, and a free bus ride to the convention.  Food Stamp enrollment forms available

2:00 P.M.

Group Voter Registration for undocumented immigrants and deceased citizens

3:30 P.M.

Opening Flag Burning Ceremony

Sponsored by CNN, hosted by Don Lemon

4:00 P.M.

Address on “Being the Real You”

Speakers: Rachel Dolezal, former President of the Spokane NAACP, and former Olympian Caitlyn Jenner

4:30 P.M.

“How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Broke”

Seminar led by Hillary Clinton

5:00 P.M.

“How to Have a Successful Career Without Ever Having a Job, and Still Avoid Paying Taxes.”

Seminar Moderated by Rev. Al Sharpton and Rev. Jesse Jackson

5:30 P.M.

Medal of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Bergdahl

6:00 P.M.

Invitation-only Autograph Session

Souvenir photographs of Elizabeth Warren dressed in Native American clothing

6:30 P.M.

Tribute to All of the 57 States

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

7:00 P.M.

General vote praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the terminology “Alternative Shoppers” instead of “Looters”

7:30 P.M.

The “Semantics Committee” Meeting.

General vote on re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as “Countering Islamophobia”

8:00 P.M

“Liberal Bias in Media: How to Make It Work for You.”

Tutorial by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and The New York Times

8:30 P.M.

Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO

Narrated by Michael Moore

9:00 P.M.

Personal Finance Seminar: “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs”

Hosted by Barack Obama

9:30 P.M.

Group Condemnation of Bitter Gun Owners.

10:00 P.M.

Ceremonial “We Surrender!” Waving of the White Flag

10:30 P.M.

Short film, “Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server While Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal”

Hosted by Hillary Clinton

11:00 P.M.

Official Nomination of Kamala Harris

Anchors: Bill Maher and Chris Matthews

11:30 P.M.

Group apology for being old and white led by Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden and Bill Clinton.

26 thoughts on “Here come the Democrats”

  1. HAPPY SATURDAY !!!
    Stu,
    may we add:
    1) Dunk Tank with SCOTUS in the hot seat
    2) Target Practice: in honor of Mt Rushmore and broken treaties, Donald Trump in the “bull’s eye”
    3) tutorial on the correct way to burn, loot and protest hosted by blm & antifa
    4) tutorial on mail-in ballot fraud hosted by Paterson City Councilman Michael Jackson, Councilman-Elect Alex
    Mendez, Shelim Khalique and Abu Razyen

    Tony

  2. Thanks Stu,
    Never saw this before. Everything is spot on. I would add one thing at1 the closing:
    ALL OF THIS BROUGHT TO YOU
    WITHOUT GOD

  3. StuThanks for the great start to my weekend, this is hilarious you really should put a warning before posting

    1. Laughing so hard, I spilled my coffee and lost the ability to properly punctuate!

      Keep up the great work Stu! Your blog is a beacon of light in the darkness.

  4. Stu – this is great! Don’t know where you found it, but kudos to whom or whoever did this one. Thx for publishing.

    And just when I thought there wasn’t anything more to add, I see Tony and Tom came up with some more goodies. Good yob!

    I’m sure there must be a Repub version. They ain’t quite perfect either. LoL.

    1. 10:30 PM-guest panelists Ivanka & Kush show how to avoid investigation for same thru nepotism/repub privilege

  5. Philadelphia, PA

    Dear Stu & readers,

    I have to admit that I’m still thinking about your last offering. I wonder if we would invite the same fellow who helped with the slavery materials at the President’s House back again for redecorating Independence Hall?

    A a general rule, its clear that Black Americans want their freedom; and good for them!

    As for the political cults of multiculturalism and identity politics generally–so dear to the hearts of the Democrats–it seems clear that a social and political policy where the “squeaky wheel gets the oil” (and only squeaky wheels get the oil), is liable to produce a proliferation of squeaky wheels. I doubt that we can run a country on this basis.

    Biden may actually be moving in the right direction –toward addressing broad and growing economic inequalities? But I am afraid that he is simply too old to do the job that needs to be done. Once you introduce the idea that some folks simply must have special treatment the idea is bound to spread like wildfire; and all the rigidities needing reform, and all those benefitting from those rigidities (“vested interests,” as we used to say) will try to hide behind the advantages granted.

    H.G. Callaway

  6. Stu

    You are 100 % wrong on the waving of the white flag. No white flags will be permitted at the convention.

  7. 100% correct.And too many people think this is wonderful.How sad.The destructionof America is in full motion.And too many people don’t care.

    1. Rich,
      So true, the destruction of America!! We’ve been given a few crumbs, so to speak, (peaceful protests, then rioting, looting, statue and monument defacing and destruction, fires, shootings, and anti police rhetoric taken seriously) so we can mull over, while the ultimate goal is takeover.
      They are plotting while we still are dealing with the ashes they have created. The fools (the suburban white) being used by these totalitarians, including Biden, better keep a check on their 401K’s. Hollywood too. All of us! They mustn’t claim victory in November! (If I said this six months ago I would have been called insane).
      Tom

      1. Tom – if this were the 1950’s, you-know-who would be crawling out of the woodwork right now. Dare I mention the name McCarthy?

  8. Can’t to read a similar article regarding the GOP convention.I hope you highlight the gutless GOP members of the house and senate who are scared to challenge Trump. I still have indigestion due the commutation of Stone’s conviction!

    1. The indigestion and outrage should be directed at the deep state DOJ prosecutors who had no case and instead focused on “process crimes” to obtain a conviction and the Obama appointed federal judge who did not dismiss the jury foreman for failure to disclose during jury selection that she was a fervent member of “The Resistance.” This case stinks to high heaven.

    2. https://www.justice.gov/pardon/clemency-statistics

      Study the statistics . Trump commuted far less people than Clinton and BO.Slick Willy commuted Rosenburg’s conviction for murder.She now is in position of authority for BLM.A convicted murderer.
      Today violent criminals are being released. But you want a 68 year old man to go to jail for process crimes set up by BO’s corrupt FBI CIA and DOJ. You have just shown what small,mean people most of you libturds are.

      How about General Flynn. His first 2 lawyers sold him down the river.Guess what.They belonged to a law firm where corrupt AG Holder is a partner.

      I suggest you look up Tom Fitton’s Judicial watch and see some of the manure that’s now being released under the FOIA act. Brennan,Clapper,Comey,Paige Strozek and the rest of BOs corrupt cops.

      Barry you are as clueless as they come.

      1. Says you? If you can’t have a civil conversation, don’t respond to my posts. Liberturds? You’re f-ing clueless because you don’t know me or know my political viewpoints. Face it the GOP is gutless. How about that democrat hoax “Covid-19”. Never heard of a hoax killing so many people!

        1. Stop passing BS. Trump said the Dems blaming him for Covid was a hoax.He didn’t say Covid was a hoax.He said it at a rally in SC that I was looking at

          .F-ing? What does that mean?

          It’s civil for calling for an old non violent man being put in jail,when the prisons are letting violent prisoners go free.

          i don’t want to know you or ridiculous political viewpoints. Jail an old non violent man. How about jailing the looters and rioters in Philly.

          I feel 50 % of REPs are useless.And I believe 99 % of Dems are useless.

          You suffer from TDS. Are you mad at him for not expanding millitary in Mideast. Are you mad because he had great employment numbers prior to pandemic. Are you mad that recent hydroxychloroquine tests are showing it’s fairly effective, Are you mad he doesn’t encourage rioters and looters like DEM governors maayors and DAs,

          Just start posting facts. And you are right I am not civil to mean spirited people like you who want to jail old non violent men.Why don’t you petition Barr to arrest BOs corrupt cops.

          1. Charles you attempt to justify every lie the republiklans say. You are the one who is passing BS.

        2. Barry, unfortunately you are up against many people here who feel they are self righteous along with them having a holier-than-thou attitude. Some of these people would defend Trump if they personally witnessed him commit a crime.

          1. Bogart

            Please list my lies.

            You can’t.

            I guess you can’t read. I said 50 % of Reps are useless as are 99% of Dems.

            What would you do if you were president.

            How come all the roits were in cities with D mayors an D DAs

            I guess you are in favor of putting old non violent men in prison and letting rioters and looters go free. What a clown.

          2. Charles, I guess reading comprehension is not a strong point of yours. You posted “Please list my lies.”

            I did not say you lied. What I said was “Charles you attempt to justify every lie the republiklans say.”

            As far as Roger Stone: Jurors returned a guilty verdict on all of seven counts, including five counts of lying to Congress, one count of witness tampering and one count of obstruction of a proceeding. He should be in jail!

          3. Charles why did you ignore the part of you lying about what I said? You know, the part where you lied and accused me of saying you were lying?

  9. All of you with your “wise” comments make me glad I am an Independent. If only we had a good strong Independent candidate!!!! If only we had a good, strong…anyone.

  10. That is a very funny bit of writing. I do hope someone comes up with something similar to parody the Republican Convention. We have to laugh at ourselves, or we’ll implode.

  11. HAPPY SATURDAY !!!
    Barry, Charles, H.B., et al,
    It’s a shame that you all go off on a tear. It’s so easy to get caught up in the many half-truths coming forth from both parties.
    I don’t think any of us could be considered kids. I would think that most of us actually paid attention in school when we were learning the basics. Civics, American History, etc. Maybe even some of us pursued more knowledge on politics or our history. Then again, the rest of us were dogging bullets, then trying to feed our family while life was passing bye.
    As I said before. I try to get informed from both sides of the aisle, as do some of you. I know that Charles is almost quoting what we all read about the Stone debacle. I also know that the party of the old rich white guy really does suck. They wont unite behind the President, because half of them are still stuffing their pockets one last time. I also know that the dimocrats all stick together- in plain view – under threats from princess Pelosi and cry’n’ Chuck Schumer.
    As I have said often. I do know that as the swamp drains, the creatures that lie within – both dems and reps – are about to get tossed. Either out of politics or in jail. This has been going on for decades, and it’s about to come to an end.
    The lies are going to keep coming and our President is going to rebuff them. The few good men and women that are by his side now, will weather this storm as more republicans wake up and loudly join in the fight to say our country.
    No one – none of you – can believe that all of this crap that has taken place for the last 3 1/2 years is a coincidence ! None of you are so naive to think that the leaders of the dimocrat party actually care about the people of this great country. All of you should believe that when a Billionaire gives up the private life, with the hope of saving this country, that he’s the real deal !
    I’m just a little guy. I’m trying to win back Chester County before they screw it up some more!
    Tony

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