Fox calls the defensive signals

The most paranoid best explanation of just WTF happened when the Trump Brain Trust somehow managed to loop an antagonist reporter into a secret confidential group chat came from Kennedy, best known as a sassy MTV VJ back when MTV actually played music videos.

She wandered away from the herd around the table on The Five Wednesday broadcast to call  National Security Adviser Mike Waltz a liar. Not in those words. These were her words: “I believe Mike Waltz does have a relationship with Jeffrey Goldberg.” 

Waltz repeatedly has said he does not.

Waltz said he had no idea how Goldberg’s phone number, which he included in the group chat, got in his phone as he has never interacted with Goldberg, the editor of the left magazine, The Atlantic.

“If you have JG in your Signal contact, that means you’re either trying to hide that contact, or you know that person. . .,” Kennedy said. 

And then the conspiracy theory coup de grace: “I think they know each other and I think that Mike Waltz might have done this to turf Pete Hegseth.” I am guessing “turf” means deliberately pushing Hegseth off Waltz’s turf.

That drew a “Whoa” from panelist Jesse Watters, and a “Wha?” from panelist Judge Jeanine Pirro. Panelist Greg Gutfeld sat there bug eyed.

Kennedy said Trump’s appointees are a team of rivals who are thinking about who will run for President in 2028.

“They’re going to have to start taking each other out,” she said, ruling in deliberately lying about one another. I expected Kennedy to be disappeared during a commercial break. She broke the Fox orthodoxy.

The Panel of The Five lacked its usual sacrificial lamb liberal panelist, always a white woman or a Black male. Maybe they were all preparing for the Day of Rage, I don’t know, but all Five on The Five were devoted MAGA ass kissers.

What was true on The Five, and across the Fox News Channel opinion shows on Wednesday, as opposed to the news shows, a battle plan emerged to exonerate Hegseth and others, such as Waltz, who had admitted it was his phone, and his mistake, but he had no idea how Goldberg’s name got on it.

That was as convincing as (former) MSNBC host Joy Reid’s explanation a few years back of how homophobic remarks got on her Twitter account. She said she was hacked and she was searching for the culprit.

“Just like O.J. Is searching for the real killer,” she did not say.

Before revealing the Fox talking points, another fem had strayed from the herd, but to a lesser degree.

Earlier in the day, former presidential press secretary Kayleigh McEnany revealed advice she was given by her father: “If you have to eat crow, eat it hot.”

Translation: When you screw up, admit it immediately. Apologize and take responsibility.

Waltz never apologized and while he said he takes responsibility, he actually shirked, suggesting that it was an error by a staff member. What he should have done was submit a resignation letter (knowing Trump would reject it).

Anyway, the Fox battle plan, which is not really a “battle plan,” but kind of a thing that they all miraculously came up with together, kind of like a hive mind. Presented in no particular order, a combination of deflection and misdirection:

— Joe Biden was a worse screwup.

— Hilary Clinton had a secret email server.

— No secrets were revealed.

— The attack on the Houhtis was successful, so there!

— Pete Hegseth wasn’t drunk.

— Jeffrey Goldberg is a Trump hater.

— No one cares.

But if no one cares, why did you spend all day beating your gums about it?