Biden borders on a second term

You ever been constipated for a couple of days, feeling really clogged, then swig some prune juice to get things moving?

I promise to be delicate here, but remember that feeling of relief when — finally — you were unclogged? 

That was just half the sublime feeling I had Thursday afternoon when President Joe Biden said he would run again for the presidency.

Or, to be accurate, he expected to. The ultimate in news you can use.

Let’s have some fun.

I forget which “reporter” asked the question. Chances are it was a woman because seven of the 10 questions came from women. If the number had been reversed, seven men to three women, we’d be reading an essay in Salon about how Biden is supporting the patriarchy. And is a closet misogynist. 

With most Americans wondering about their kids ever returning to school, or if they would ever return to work or lose their job to an illegal or a robot, or if a family member will die of the coronavirus, Chinese version, or Brazilian, or United Kingdom or Rastafarian, this reporter thought that question was important to us.

If Biden had my sense of humor, he would have answered this way: “Am I running again? Half of you think I’ll be in a rocking chair in the home by next year, so shouldn’t you be asking Kamala? She’s hiding behind the Presidential flag behind my right shoulder.”

He didn’t do that but he had a good laugh by pretending what he has said about immigration hasn’t created a huge magnet to draw illegals to the border. They’re not coming “because I’m a nice guy,” said the president who maybe has not seen those wearing t-shirts that read, “Biden, please let us in.”

He instead tried to blame the crisis challenge on former President Donald J. Trump, who actually stopped the flow of illegals across the border with a couple of actions Biden reversed.

The truth is a burden.

And the truth is Biden promised (with all but one of the Democratic morons running for president) free healthcare to illegals, and that he would suspend deportations for three months. When he tried to do that with a moratorium, a judge knocked it down. 

One theme was Autocracy (North Korea, Russia, China) versus Democracy (us and our allies). China wants to overtake the U.S., he said, accurately, and it won’t happen on his watch. He’s probably right, as China’s economy is only 70% of ours (but I remember when it was just 50%.) Biden pledged spending on R&D, innovation, AI and so on. Perhaps there was a message in the e pluribus unum displayed behind him.

He walked into another trap when a reporter asked if he agreed with President Barack Obama that the filibuster is a relic of the era of Jim Crow.

“Yes,” he blurted without thought.

Even the filibusters I myself conducted, he did not say.

Here’s his problem: He previously said he would keep the filibuster, the kind that required a speaker to talk endlessly to hold the floor and prevent a vote.

But if it is racist (and nowadays, what isn’t?), how can he possibly support it, in any form?

Is that how he will pay back Black voters, who in South Carolina pulled his campaign wagon back from falling off a cliff?

Speaking of cliff, Biden seemed to have Cliff Notes on the podium, and sometimes read from them and sometimes spoke extemporaneously. I don’t really mind notes, or reminder cards, but he had trouble reading the names of (friendly) reporters he was to call on, he kept losing his place.

As he did when he launched into a comment on gun control that mysteriously morphed into an answer about infrastructure. He promised a “surprise” in one remark that never appeared and promised reporters they could visit shelters for illegals sometime in the future. Open access had been granted by Trump and Obama.

Given that he opened the presser with a glowing report about our battle with COVID-19, it was surprising there was not a single question about the virus.

But we did learn his reelection plans.

One of life’s small victories.