A death spoils this Thanksgiving

November 23, 2022 24 Comments

I could never forget the birthday of one of my closest friends

Photo circa 1990

Dick Claussen was born in Brooklyn on the day the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, thrusting America into world war and into a position of leading the free world.

His memorable birthday was Dec. 7.

He died on the 59th anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy, after a lingering illness he did not deserve. A death two days before Thanksgiving is particularly cruel.

We met in Brooklyn College’s night school, as members of the school newspaper, called ken. Yes, lower case, and a Scottish word meaning knowledge or scope. 

It was 1960 and I reported news, while Dick reported sports.

I worked my way up to news editor, then managing editor, while he became sports editor. 

I eventually became editor-in-chief and he eventually succeeded me.

By the time he married in 1980, I had been married and divorced. He married Ann later and wiser in life and they were on the doorstep of their 42nd anniversary. I was flattered, honored, and surprised when Dick asked me to be his best man.

It feels like I had always known Dick, but I left Brooklyn for Philadelphia in 1966.

It was only six years, but our friendship endured because we stayed in touch — by mail. No cell phones, no texting, no email.

I went into journalism, Dick moved into academic administration.

I visited him in Bloomington when he got a job at Indiana University, and then again in Manhattan, the Little Apple, when he worked at Kansas State University.

Our other interests were different. Dick started playing golf in college, which meant getting up early on Saturday morning to drive some distance to a golf course. My idea of Saturday morning was sleeping off my Friday night date.

Dick took up bridge and became a grand master.

I didn’t even like poker — too slow, and interfered with dating.

If you have a mental picture of a man from Brooklyn, it would not be Dick.

He didn’t sound like a “dem” and “dose” Brooklynite, and he was so open and sweet he seemed to have been fashioned in the Midwest.

He didn’t like rough language and corny jokes made him laugh.

I smoked and drank and cursed. He didn’t.

And yet, the things we did not have in common did not matter.

When I mentioned to him that I had lost my college press card, he sent me his. I treasured it.

He eventually returned to Pennsylvania and settled in Bethlehem. 

He had retired, I had not and had a busy schedule, so when we got together, it was in Philadelphia.

By then Katie, his extraordinary daughter, had been born. I guess she was a natural scholar and Dick bragged about her accomplishments in getting through law school, clerking, speaking several languages and working overseas. 

When I saw Katie’s name come up on my cell phone Wednesday morning, I knew it was bad news.

I knew it was bad news because Dick wasn’t well enough to attend my 80th birthday party last year.

Katie told me her dad was failing, but wanted to rent a limo to get to the party, even for a bit.

As I recall, Katie asked me to talk him out of it, and I did.

I told Dick there would be plenty of time for us to get together.

I was wrong.

24 thoughts on “A death spoils this Thanksgiving”

  1. Call it human frailty, self-absorption, or any phrase that causes the human being to stop making simple communications with long-time schoolmates, workmates, and just close neighbors and friends. A simple phone call, a text message, or a funny card are all available in seconds to solidify a close relationship. We always say the same repetitious words like I’ll catch up with you, I’ll drop you a line, we have to get together soon. And then the call your great human connection has passed away and then the reaction. I should have called and kept in touch. I really miss him. Great story about the human connection to each other with the Limo attempt to get together once more a testament to his affection. You were blessed to have a soulmate for life.

  3. Stu, my condolences on the loss of your friend. I know, from personal experience, how difficult it was for me.

    Two of my closest friends have passed away. Each death was sudden. I knew each of them for more than 50 – 60 years.

    When my first friend died I realized something I had not thought about before. While each friend was a part of my life, each had a different part. There were some things I talked about with one friend but not the other(s). When that first friend died I lost my connection to things he and I talked, laughed, and joked about. That connection was not shared with others. In essence, when he died, a part of me died as well. I hope I am making sense in trying to explain what I mean.

  4. pallie,
    I’m sure that I would have enjoyed him at your bash as I did your other long time friends.
    Memories of our dearest keep us going.
    My deepest heart felt condolences, my friend
    Tony

  5. Many years ago, an astrologer told me that I’d meet somenone who’d “change my life about Thanksgiving Day, 1984”.
    On that day, My husband and I met Lisa–an artist with all that goes with it.
    She certainly changed our lives-with art, humor and friendship and genuine love.
    Tragically, brain cancer took her life only ten years later. She was just 36.
    So, every year since, we celebrate our sweet, creative friend who was taken from us too soon.
    Friends like Lisa are something to be thankful for.

  6. Having lost too many close friends (whom I wish could have made it to 65, much less 80), I am all too familiar with your sadness and pain.
    Cherish the memories…

  7. We are blessed if we have one true friend in our life. Based on what you wrote, you were blessed. I will remember Mr. Claussen at 9 AM Thanksgiving Mass tomorrow morning.

  8. I was on that ken staff and played golf with him on Saturdays. I visited him once when he was in grad school at UI in Bloomington. Sorry I didn’t maintain friendship after I graduated.

  10. My condolences to you, Stu, for your loss. Your tribute to your good friend Dick, reminds me of my close PFD friends, especially from our Germantown firehouse. Just yesterday at our monthly breakfast we noted the loss of two of ours. George was 85 and Teddy was three weeks short of 80. The memories and stories will still go on though. I feel very fortunate to have so many close friendships. Lastly, it would be remiss of me not to mention my brother Bob who would have been 82 today.

  12. Five days before Thanksgiving Day in 1963, JFK was shot dead. It has been 59 years and I still remember it precisely.

    1. Vince, I also remember it as if it happened today. It was a vey sad time for this country.

      I do not know if you noticed but there did not appear to be any mention of his killing this past Nov 22nd.

      1. Yes, I noticed…and it was disturbing. That is why I mentioned it in Stu’s column (above).

  13. Even the wounding of President Reagan and the attempt by Squeaky Fromme on President Ford, not to mention other plots that were stopped before attempts were made, are not ever mentioned. It appears the longer we go on, the less people care.

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