A Bill of Rights for air passengers

Back in mid-March, kind of as a joke I posted that if U.S. airlines were going to get government cash, they ought to give us more leg room and hip room.

It isn’t a joke any more, even now that the CEO of Boeing, who builds their planes, says one of the majors will likely crash and burn before the pandemic ends.

What we are seeing now is that some airlines — after making passengers stand six feet apart in line, then seat passengers three abreast. Are you freaking kidding me? Even with masks, passengers are entitled to six feet of virus-free space.

I live in Pennsylvania, so I am calling out #BobCasey and #PatToomey, but you can do the same in your state.

The airlines are getting billions to keep them out of the financial gutter. It’s time they stop kicking passengers to the curb. You would think that when times are bad, they would treat their few customers good. You would be wrong.

Most airlines are carrying about 10% of capacity. If they treat us right, they might get it up to 35%. That’s a big “if.” They need us more than we need them.

Hey #Congress — listen up. Tell the FAA what passengers want, actually demand.

While Americans are sadly getting bigger, airline seats are getting smaller. Stop that. 

Seats. Get them back to a comfortable size — leg room and hip room.

Baggage. No charge for the first two bags checked through. (Southwest doesn’t charge for baggage.) 

Carry Ons. No charge for anything you can carry on.

Middle seat. Not to be sold, period. No additional charge to passengers on either side.

Cheaper fares. Business 101. To attract more customers, lower prices.

Emotional support animals. A puppy or kitty, OK. No more miniature horses, peacocks, pigs, or turkeys. We’ve had it with the damn petting zoos. 

Meal fees. Remember when meals used to be free? We do. 

Change fees. When the customer has to change flights, no charge. Why should there be a charge for simple changes passengers can make themselves?

Load from the rear to the front. That way aisles aren’t jammed. It’s simple.

Larger restrooms. Get them back to as big as they once were. They are impossibly small now.

Seat selection charges. Stop it! 

Online bookings fees. Stop it! You save money when passengers do it themselves. 

Movies, wifi. It should be covered by the fare.

Food. You know, it’s not that bad.

Work with us and we’ll work with you.

Keep screwing us and we will laugh as you go bankrupt and start selling your jetliners to Bangladesh.