The plaque on the wall says “Best City Agency.”
The wall is on the welcome center dreary double-wide impound lot building operated by the Philadelphia Parking Authority at 6 E. Oregon, a truly desolate stretch of a street just behind nowhere.
The plaque was from the 2023 “Best of Philadelphia” issue of Philadelphia magazine, which I don’t take seriously — not even my “best columnist” designation in 2011.
Some of the awards — mine? — I suspect, were awarded just to create controversy. Others — mine? — were awarded on merit.
I am not a kneejerk hater of the PPA, even though I have taken it to task a couple of dozen times when its agents wrote bad tickets and PPA didn’t quickly own up to it. Many other columnists have done the same.
And yet, I’ve estimated that upward of 98% of tickets are valid.
But when you write upwards of 1 million tickets a year, that’s 20,000 that are bad.
The one that my wife got the other day was earned. It was Sunday and she parked in one of those parking lanes on JFK that’s 12 feet off the sidewalk to accommodate a bike lane that almost no one uses. She did not notice a “consul only” parking sign, which is on the sidewalk, quite a distance from the parking lane. She noticed it only after she came back to her car and found only an empty spot.
She did some quick search, came home for a minute, then grabbed me and a Lyft and headed to the impound lot, or the long, flat, narrow office building outside the cyclone fencing behind which towed cars are parked.
We enter the colorless, oblong interior and find no directions telling us where to go. There were about a half a dozen teller-style windows, about half “customer service,” about half “cashier.”
No instructions where to go first, so we ask one of the other lost souls trying to retrieve their automobiles.
You must go to the service window first, which are the windows furthest from the entry door. That is odd.
You go to the service window to prove you are the owner of the car you are claiming. That is perfectly sensible.
My wife, Half-Pint, being very clever, had downloaded and printed out the paperwork during her brief stop at home. Most people leave the registration and insurance card in the glove compartment.
Those people had to wait to be escorted to their car to get the paperwork.
Since Half-Pint had her paperwork, she submitted it to the agent, then was sent to wait in the cashier line to pay. That was $175 for the tow, plus $51 for the parking offense.
After which, yes, she had to return to the service window to get paperwork to show the impound lot attendant, who allows people in one at a time.
Seems to me there is at least one unnecessary stop, maybe even two. One agent couldn’t handle proof of ownership and payment?
One other thing. The lot is open 24 hours a day, but the cashier is not, and you can’t get your car without paying.
So if your car gets towed, make sure there is a cashier on duty before heading to the Badlands of South Philly.
So much for PPA’s “best” from Philly mag.
Your wife’s ordeal with the PPA reads like the old days in the Soviet Union, when you got into line to pick out what you wanted to buy, then got into another line to pay for what you bought, then got into a third line to pick up your item, and a fourth line to get it wrapped. (Historical note: that system is how the Soviet Union assured ‘full employment.’) The PPA’s designed ordeal, I am convinced, is simply because that organization is sadistic and hateful. Which is why I very rarely go into the city. Why take a chance on having my car ticketed or towed? Who needs the agita?
(I may have to travel into the city to pay off a bet, but I’ll take the train.)
I saw the parenthetical, Vince. We will let the rest of the class in on bet after the Dem convention.
I agree with Vince. It’s a make-work system (for patronage employees). I saw this in several countries when traveling. Buy a ticket at one window and 6 feet later another worker takes it before you go in. Absurd.
The Eiffel Tower has automated elevators, but a paid elevator staffer to press the up or down button.
Well, it’s better than welfare.
Your story brought back memories of my car getting towed for a parking violate when I was attending a Temple night class in Center City back in 1975. I appealed as the ticket referenced the address of where my car was packed. In court I produced a picture of the house which include a sign showing parking was allowed. The Judge ruled in my favor and provided documentation to provide when requesting a refund of the ticket and towing charge. Recall I had to go to an office in city hall. I experienced a long delay to get my refund and asked reason for delay. The clerk told me “We never had to give a refund before”.
Also I must complement you on your loving nick name of Half-pint for your wife. Of course my point of comparison is that my father called my mother “Creepy Momma”!
Great story, and great nickname.
I guess the PPA is a necessary evil in our city. But I found this agency to be heartless at times. Mayor Rizzo was right when he said, “I’m going to break their Pencils.”
When it is wrong, it is very, very wrong. I emailed a copy of my column to PPA ED Rich Lazer. I’ll let you know if I hear back.
Thank you
I think that Philadelphia Magazine got only one thing right: You being the best columnist in Philadelphia. Whether it was tongue in cheek or sincere, even a broken clock is right twice a day, and a broken magazine right once or twice a year…
😘
Stu- on an unrelated matter, I am truly amazed by the commercials for Pa. Senator Bump On A Log, Casey. I live in Cape May but am still amazed by the misrepresentations. He fought against fentanyl? Like most Democrats, he did not utter the word fentanyl for 3 years, while Fox was reporting on it every night. I don’t know if McCormick can beat him, but the Senator needs to be fired!
Expecting honesty in political commercials is like expecting a sloth to move fast.