So are they here among us? The aliens, I mean.
I grew up in the post-World War II era, and I was entranced by science fiction because I had a bent for science, and because I believed it was a peephole into the future.
Isaac Asimov wrote the book on robots. Literally. (Illustration courtesy of Salon)
My favorite sci-fi author was Isaac Asimov, followed by Robert Heinlein and Arthur C. Clarke.
Asimov was himself influenced by H.G. Wells, and was amazingly prolific, having written or edited 500 books. Because he was a biochemist, his books never veered from established scientific fact, giving them a ring of authenticity and believability.
For his 1950 short story collection, “I, Robot,” he established 3 Laws for Robotics, which created a template that is used today, and I sincerely hope as we rush toward Artificial Intelligence, they are hardwired into our robotic “helpers.”
The 3 Laws are: 1- A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2- A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3- A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
That was infallible for its time.
For its time?
Today, we have remote-controlled drones and ships. How long before we have remote-controlled robot soldiers? Would they be allowed to harm enemy soldiers? Wouldn’t that violate the First Law?
Probably yes, but the enemy would likely have robot soldiers of their own that our robots could destroy.
Interestingly, Asimov never wrote about aliens, perhaps because his scientific background couldn’t justify them.
But I can write about aliens.
The first UFO sighting that made a splash came in 1947, when businessman Kenneth Arnold reported seeing a group of nine high-speed objects near Mount Rainier in Washington while flying his small plane, according to Brittanica.
Since then there have been hundreds of sightings, various investigations, conspiracies about Area 51, and much more, culminating in a House Oversight subcommittee hearing on UFOs — officially known as unidentified aerial phenomena or UAPs — last week and heard testimony about unexplained object sightings and government possession of “nonhuman” biological matter.
David Grusch, a former Air Force intelligence official, told the panel that he is “absolutely” certain that the federal government is in possession of UAPs, citing interviews he said he conducted with 40 witnesses over a four-year period.
He did not offer a list of names.
He said he led Defense Department efforts to analyze reported UAP sightings and was informed of a “multidecade” Pentagon program to collect and reconstruct crashed Unidentified Aerial Phenomena.
Grusch told the panel he knows of “multiple colleagues” who were injured by UAPs, but did not name them. He said he would in the future. When?
He also said he has interviewed individuals who have recovered “nonhuman biologics” from crashed UAPs, but did not name them either. Everything he presented was second-hand, what in court is called “hearsay.” (“Nonhuman biologics” would be aliens.)
In response to other questions, he said he could not answer in a public setting.
You see the problem? Grusch has a good record, but that doesn’t mean he is not lying, or confused, or dead wrong. He has never seen a UAP or “nonhuman” himself, so his claims must be verified by those with first-hand experience.
First-hand experience was offered by David Fravor, a former Navy commander, who said he and three fellow pilots spotted a white Tic-Tac-shaped object in 2004, hovering below their jets and just above the Pacific Ocean.
As he descended to investigate, the unidentified aircraft — which he said bore no visible rotors, wings or exhaust — began to approach his fighter jet, but then vanished, and reappeared seconds later 60 miles away.
That defied scientific explanation.
Other pilots have made similar claims, and movements by objects that defy physical laws have been captured on radar scopes.
They could be unexplained anomalies, or they could be extraterrestrials.
Probably not ET.
Why?
If we have visitors from another solar system — and there are 3,916 solar systems just in our little Milky Way — and they have developed interstellar propulsion, don’t you think that they would have developed a cloaking device like we know from “Star Trek?”
Hell, we already have Stealth aircraft that are all but invisible to radar. You think the Klingons don’t? (I am terming the aliens Klingons just for fun.)
If the Klingons have ships that can execute right-angle turns at 1,000 mph, dive into and emerge from the sea, surely they can disappear. In fact, that was the testimony of Navy pilot Fravor before Congress.
So, if they are seen, it must be they want to be seen.
Why is that?
They’re f’n with us.
Like performing random anal probes.
That reminds me — the people who get the anal probes are almost always hillbillies, rednecks, or crackers. Never anyone with a college degree or a full set of teeth.
What can they learn from anal probes? Don’t you think the Klingons would have a medicine, like the anesthetic you get before surgery, that wipes your memory clean?
If you can remember the anal probe, it is because they want you to remember it.
Why?
They’re f’n with us.
As advanced as they are, surely they have instant body and brain scans. Anal probes are a frat prank.
Now, conspiracy theorists believe the good old U.S. of A. has a captured spaceship in Area 51 that we are reverse engineering so that our planes can make right angle turns at 1,000 mph and dive into the sea.
And we’ve been working on this for 70 years?
How stupid are we?
We figured out how to do Door Dash but we can’t do this?
And while we’re at it, the Marines never leave a man behind, but the Klingons do?
You really believe that?
They would not rescue their own beings and their space craft?
Yes, I am a doubter.
For the sake of fun, I will flip and say, OK, sure, not only are they out there, but they are here.
If they meant us harm, they would have already enslaved us, used us as slaves, turned us into food, or performed 7 billion anal probes.
None of this has happened, which strongly suggests they are not here to hurt us.
Maybe they are even here to help us, but first they have to feel that we are worthy.
And looking around us, we aren’t there yet.
Thanks for my morning belly laugh! One wonders if Medicare will cover the ET probes like they do for colonoscopies?
Glad you liked. I have not read the Klingons bill Medicare.
Or maybe they check in on us and figure, “Nope, not ready yet”.
David Grusch of the 3 “whistleblowers” seems like a charlatan to me and I’m sure he lied under oath. He was the one guy who made outlandish claims and turned these congressional hearings into an embarrassment to our country. From here on, they should broadcast UAP hearings on the Comet Network.
He’s lying, deluded, or just wrong in my book. He now must be forced to divulge unnamed people he referenced and they should be brought in for OPEN hearings. No more closed hearings. There is nothing to fear. If it is aliens, or an earth enemy, they already know the truth. Americans should, too.
I’m not surprised that you’re a fan of the great Isaac Asimov.
I met him several times, at book signings and sci-fi cons.
Here’s a story about him and his Three Laws, related by his friend Robert Silverberg.
“A great number of sci-fi authors, not just Arthur C. Clarke, who wrote the novel on which the film is based,
attended the very first screening of “2001: A Space Odyssey”. For some perverse reason, Clarke was seated next to Isaac Asimov. To put it mildly, they did not get along. Everything was quiet until the moment HAL the computer shuts down the life support of most of the astronauts. Asimov rose to his entire height (about 5’5″).
shook his fist at the screen and screamed “He can’t do that! It violates the First Law!”
Clarke, gigling and seated, responded in a stage whisper–“So why don’t you smite him with a mighty thunderbolt, Isaac?” “
Great anecdote, and Asimov was right, except that HAL had a mental breakdown.
After his mental breakdown, HAL ran for political office (and won).
After he changed his name by adjusting each letter downward to IBM.
And that was a HAL hat tip.
Anal probes! Always a source of laughter. What also makes me laugh is the thought that aliens have found a way to fly millions of light years across the universe to reach Earth, but then they crash their ships when they arrive. Female alien UFO drivers, most likely. (Let the howls of outrage begin!)
Female alien driver joke!
These aliens are super intelligent to have mastered the space-time continuum. Yet they keep crashing into a rock that they can see from 30,000 miles away. Heck, the warning, “Pull Up!” literally has the command in it. Grusch’s story reads like a script from The Office. Jim pranks Dwight by having everyone tell him stories of alien sightings. Then two years later Dwight appears on TV before a Senate Subcommittee telling the stories that his officemates told him.
Belief in Unidentified Aerial Phenomena is like religious faith. There is no proof of a higher being but a large amount of people believe in a higher power. There is no evidence that UFO’s exist but people continue to believe unidentified aliens exist. Remember there was a time when everyone believed the earth was flat. I say of the billions of stars there is a possibility that life exists in some form on one of those stars. However up to this time no evidence exists to prove life exists outside of our world. We could all be doubting Thomases. Your article was entertaining.
Thank you.
Stu, you left out the possibility that these could be drunk, joy-riding adolescents in stolen spaceships crashing into stuff while trying to freak-out those funny-looking earth-people.
Yeah, I missed that one. 😁